As Summer Arrives, I Decide to Pack It All In
A writer at the crossroads of her life, work, and finances
I have lived in Rhode Island, USA for almost 20 years. But now, without children, partnership, or work to keep me in this town, I am quietly freed.
I think I’ve worked for my last employer and that’s a strange feeling. Every job I ever had was in a service industry, working as part of a team but group dynamics have become overly familiar and I’m tired.
I want the home-comfort of my self —all the possibilities of being alone with the thoughts inside my head, and not being seen unless I choose so.
I’m ready for something new; something wild and invigorating.
Home, belonging, family … all feel more like questions to me than answers.
Local friendships have faded over the years ago as schedules busied with growing families and returning to careers. And later, there was the third-wheelness of me as a single woman of independent and introverted ways.
Aside from my kids, my closest relatives are in Scotland. I also have my people in Denmark, my partner and a family of sorts that defies any definition I have come up with, so far.
We are all growing older so I am going to relocate my life for a while, spend more time with the people I love and have time for the conversations that matter.
The Plan
I will rent out my house for one year
I hope to find a young family who need a home they can drop their lives into for a year. After paying my mortgage and sundry costs, the rent will give me a small income.
I will be a digital nomad
There are businesses similar to AirBnB, ready to connect home and pet owners with housesitters—who knew! When I’m not staying with friends and family, I can choose my location and have canine companions for walks as well as while I write.
I will write
A dog or two to walk, perhaps some weeds to pull — but a house that isn’t mine can’t pull on my attention like home. Writing can be my full-time occupation without excuse.
I love writing personal essays, and I appreciate the practice and traction they have given me on Medium, but I want to experiment with different forms. I am longing to submerge myself in fiction writing—short stories.
Join Me!
Every Sunday, I will write here for you—updates on my travels, what I’m reading, and the backstory of my writing. Sometimes there will be links to my stories published elsewhere.
I hope you’ll keep my company on the journey by leaving hearts and comments below, restacking and sharing when you feel inclined.
The Library Card
I love the slim volumes of poetry on my bookshelves like old friends and I don’t visit them nearly often enough. This week while procrastinating-packing, I rediscovered The Tradition by Jericho Brown (Winner of the 2020 Pulitzer Prize in Poetry.)
The life experiences Brown writes about are often very different from mine but there is an ever-present ring of the familiar. He questions how we came to be accustomed to the violence and inequity of our society.
“Brown interrupts complacency by locating each emergency in the garden of the body, where living things grow and wither—or survive.”
I often find a deep organic beauty in his poems, as unflinching as they are. This time though, it was Brown’s poem about breaking free of the work-a-day grind that spoke to me.
“We work, start on one side of the day
Like a planet’s only sun, our eyes straight
Until the flame sinks. The flame sinks. Thank God
I’m different. I’ve figured and counted. I’m not crossing
To cross back. I’m set
On something vast.”
Excerpt from Crossing by Jericho Brown
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Have a great trip, Beth! Adventures are awaiting and I am looking forward to your stories.
I had to read it a few times to realise that you're doing this now - going on an adventure!
All the best and keep us posted.